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Nov. 22nd, 2014

well i am having a buying spree today...!!
planning out decprating and my thanksgiving meal
nogs of eggs nogs of eggs...!!!
i need curtains, light switch plates, wallpaper...

turkey, dressing, roasted oven potatos, mashed potatos, sweet potato hash,
crescent roll buscuits, flakey butter biscuits, deviled eggs, fresh carrots, peas, that
nasty green bean casserole, cottage cheese with tomatos and pepper, creamed spinach, spinach dip, cranberry relish, watergate salad, peach pie, salad, pumpkin soup...

Nov. 21st, 2014

FRIDAY...!!!
the relief of knowing this night shift will end sometime in the4 next year is exciting...
i love change, new things, always new adventures... everyone at work thinks i am leaving since
my position posted a few days ago. i have not commented to anyone about it except the day manager
who i told yesterday i felt as if i was fighting a loosing battle...

Nov. 20th, 2014

well... it is official, there is a new job posted for a night shift nurse.
my wild impulsiveness drove me to switch again. i didn't like my evaluation comments,
and i don't like having to deal with kathy crabbing at me every morning. and i don't like getting hurt every single night at work... i am a small 55 year old woman, i have a hard time moving equipment weighing 500 plus pounds... i get crushed, trip, get hit in the head, have things fall on me, run over my feet, get hit in the eye, fall, strain my back, strain my arm, hurt my neck,...every night... eventually i will really fuck myself up.

my family has been pestering me to switch back so i wouldn't be sleeping all day and never see them. i suppose it is healthier... we are not genetically programmed to be nocturnal...
i will be loosing money doing this tho... if i stay on the pm hours it will be better...
how old is this community... this website ??
does anyone know ... maybe 5 years ??
whenever i feel at the worst and at the blackest times in my life...
...i always come back here...
the years float by...
the problems never change...
i can't believe i am going to be 52 this year...
and i am still doing this

the psychological and genetic factors that create this ed
must be so ingrained... there is no other lifestyle for me
...other than this

i haven't been here in a few months...
and it seems to be much quieter than it was when i joined
around 5 years ago. i would like to believe that it means people
do get better...

am i now the oldest person on this site...??
...***sigh***...
root bear mozart has to be one of the best video's i have ever seen on youtube... it is what youtube is all about. the man has gotten over 111,000 hits in 24 hours... it is ingenius, original, fresh, imaginitive... and it is on mozart's birthday! i hope he can get 1,000,000 hits in less than a week... i bet he will do it...
hello to the mods... and everyone else...
thank you so much for my virtual gift....whoever you may be...
i feel myself unworthy of any gifts...
i will always be a worthless whore...
nontheless...
i thank you from the bottom of my heart...
...forever...my loves...
...mindy...
idk...
i feel a little like 'carrie' right now...
... why would someone you just barely know...
... someone who has hated you in the past... and hates you now...
... ask you to be friends on facebook...?
... i remember those days... oh so well...
... the days of the constant abuse and ridicule from your classmates...
... all they wanted to do is humiliate and ridicule you...
... to hurt you in every way they know how... to hurt you...
... all for their own amusements...
... until all you want to do is wipe them off the face of the earth...
... does she want to look at pictures of me from when i was younger...
... she has always seemed inordinately interested in diets and weight questions with me...
... i think i will be in the self-preservation mode... and not accept her...
... why are these adolescent issues...
... still haunting me when i am 50 years of age...
... the hurt never goes away... i guess.
ok... try nyquil for some precious little sleep...
...that was so fucking worth it for 10 minutes of sleep i got...
first after my precious 10 minutes, i woke up because i was itching everywhere, the toe on my left foot, inside my ear canal, my scalp, the palm of my left hand, my left toe, my nose, my ear, my right toe, my face, my arm, my neck, my face, my right toe, my nose, that went on for a fucking 1/2 hour.
then i got jumpy...
then everything started hurting... like lactic acid buildup... like i had been exercising for 3 days...
then i started itching again... and wondering if this fucking nyquil has tylenol in it, why i was suddenly hurting everywhere so much...
then i wanted to fucking scream...
then it was 5:50am, and time to get up.
horrible product....

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quendria28
quendria28

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